the secret life

perhaps we all have one

and so what do you do when it is uncovered?
two years kept hidden
no battle between ego and self
no public eyes peering to test and talk

what do you do now that your plane has touched down?
no more running
no more countries to visit
no more money to fuel the journey
How do you say,
“Yes, it’s true. No, I’m not who I was when I left. I can’t go back.”

 
and what are you going to do?
months of murmurs
private agendas
not answering questions with blacks and whites

what do you do now that your grey areas are filled in?
no more talking behind closed doors
no more tracks to carefully cover
no more excitement to fuel the journey
How do you say,
“Yes, it’s true. No, I’m not who you thought I was. I can’t come home.”

********************

He thought she would be easy to forget.
He never imagined that there were so many reminders.
Months have passed and it’s still so fresh, too fresh. The lines are blurring; he feels like he is stuck in dream sequence.
“I should just come out and tell someone, anyone. Maybe then I could just let it go.”

********************

Being awake to the secret, being able to keep some things like pieces of candy, your favorite candy, hidden away from everyone, some thing that is a little sweetness to savor while you’re washing the dishes or sitting in traffic or talking to someone who bores you

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~ by hannahcsykes on January 3, 2009.

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