a kind of stirring

In the early 1900s
a young man left the mountains of North Carolina
and went west.
There are photographs of him
in a cowboy hat and vest;
and it’s not for show.
Was he seeking something?
Did he find it?
All I know is that he went back to the mountains.

But two generations later,
I find myself looking west
not for my great-grandfather’s trail
not for a sunset
but for a new way.

My dad used to talk about Montana
about selling out
packing up
heading west.
“But this is our home,” I would cry.
“What about our family? Our house?”

And now I think I understand,
he was seeking a new way.
All the grandparents were gone
the house was just that.
He knew there was a world out there.

But what are we really looking for?
Cliches will say that you just take all the bad stuff with you
no matter how far away you go.
Is there any value to a fresh start?
Is there any worth in seeing something different when you look out
the window in the morning?
Don’t say that it is all in your mind and that you choose
what you see. Nobody wants to hear that.

~ by hannahcsykes on August 1, 2008.